Attraction vs Envy

A written experience- the people who become attracted may tear you down. When you reach a certain point, you emit energy. This energy attracts people without knowing if their intentions are good, or bad. Most of the time, when you're genuine in your living, the people that come in your life just want to take advantage of you. This is something I can very well say has happened to me, far too many times. 

Sometimes it's not intentional. For instance, I have friends that know I am patient and caring. At any time, they know I'm available to talk and provide attention as well as love! So, they tend to call, text, pull up etc, with all of their problems. Now, it's not an issue, right? I'm their friend, so what could be the harm in that? 

The harm is, they steal my energy and recharge themselves. Depending on the situation, most people only come to you when they need an ear, and just an ear. They don't want to listen and take advice. You know, those friends that cry to you about their significant other, and continue to run right back to them? It's like that. They come sad and defeated, you build them back up, make them feel better, and they run off to do the same thing. 

In other cases where it is intentional, it comes off as jealousy. A person who loves themself, as well as others, and shows confidence without a care in the world, will have people who envy them. This is a way of flattery. The person may watch you, and never support you, or they may even go as far as saying things about you that are not true, just to diminish your character. This is a challenge when living a positive lifestyle, because you will want to... pop off! I won't lie, that is one thing I struggled with on my journey. It took me a little longer than most to learn how to dismiss negativity when it was obviously intended to degrade my image in my community. I realized that those people are struggling with something deeper than anything I have going on, and all they need is a little more motivation to see that they can have the same amount of love and confidence that they see me put out. Remember in the midst of all the support, hate, positivity, and negativity, always stay true to the reason you began your journey. The love you have for yourself will never fall short of what you deserve, once you learn what you deserve!

Attracted to Confidence

Here's a written experience- people become attracted to your confidence. It's pretty common to know that people are drawn to ones they find attractive. Think for a second, what makes someone attractive to you? Is it the way that they carry themself? Most of the time, it is. Even when an individual has a horrible personality, they can still be attractive in a way. 

When you become confident in yourself, you start to notice that people are more interested in you. If you are confident in your business, your music, your art, etc, you will receive support. This is because people see credibility in you, for the way they see you compared to the way you portray yourself. When they both match up, it creates opportunity.

Even if the people that notice your confidence don't offer support, they will still give you attention. They tune in to see the things that you do, and how you do them. It will feel like you are always in the spotlight, and that can most definitely become overwhelming. Remember the reason why you are so confident, and that reason should be because you owe it to yourself. Not to please others, and not because someone else gave you a reason to be confident. 

Personally, I have experienced this. I have had people become attracted to the way I present myself, and I can attest, it is a lot to handle! I can say that I have always had a little "clout" as we call it these days, which means popularity. After you truly become confident in yourself and less worried about clarification from others, the popularity can very well go to your head. You know that you are, THAT, so you really don't need anyone around who feels otherwise, even if they do feel the same it's like you already know- and that's where the cockiness can come into play. I have never felt that I was better than anyone else, but I can say that it becomes tempting to think that way when you, as well as everyone else see's the best in you. Just remember to always stay true to yourself, and never tear anyone down in the process of lifting yourself up. Instead, try lifting others to the place where you are. It feels great to love yourself, so help someone else feel good about themself! 

Relations vs Relationships

In today's time, I feel like the worst and major cause of self pity stems from the confusion of a relationship versus having relations - if you know what I mean. If you don't, well, I'll explain it for you real quick! A relationship is a commitment between two people that have both established the meaning of the bond that they share, as well as the feelings. It's understood, mutual, and it is set in stone. Relations on the other hand, tend lean more on one side, if they aren't completely one sided from the beginning. When having relations with someone, it's just that. There shouldn't be any feelings involved- right? At least that's what we think. 

Have you ever been put in a situation where you know that you like someone more than they like you? I have, and I have always wondered why it leaves a sort of guilty feeling within me. At the beginning of a "relation", there are no rules. The only rule is, to not 'catch feelings', and even that rule is unspoken of. You go along in this "relation" mimicking all of the things of an actual relationship, and boom. You start to develop feelings that you feel like you have to hide. BUT, the real gag is, you don't! You shouldn't have to hide the way that you feel, because whether you like it or not, you feel that way. 

This cycle seems to be long going and almost never ending! When confusing the two scenarios, it can cause you to feel worthless or not good enough for the person that you want. I'm here to tell you how you can end that cycle for yourself, TODAY! First things first, know what you want when starting something new. You should know what you want in a relationship, what qualities you look for in a partner, and the morals they must have. Try not to focus on the appearance, or materialistic things, because that says nothing about a persons true character! This alone will help you separate your preferences, when looking for a relationship vs looking for a relation. 

 If you know in your mind what you want with a person, you control how your feelings move. I like to tell my peers, "girl, just play your role". This means, just go with the flow! If someone obviously isn't taking the relationship to an actual relationship level, then they are on the road to a relation! If you have made up your mind to have a relation as well, then you're all set! If you had your heart set on a love story, and the other person involved is not as invested as you, then tell them how you feel. Tell them how you wanted something more, and ask them if they are interested. Maybe they will be; but if they are not, then they simply are not. 

Now here's what you really need to hear- you don't deserve someone who doesn't want the same thing as you. The only feeling that it will bring upon you is discomfort, pain, and sadness, and baby, nobody wants to feel that! When you establish what you want, you begin to realize that want you want in a relationship is what you deserve! Anybody who can't meet those standards are not for you. As soon as you get the notion that you feel stronger for a person than they do for you, it's time to let them know, and detach. Once you tell the person how you were feeling,  or that you don't want to continue the relation because you were beginning to want a relationship, they will respect that. It will show them that you know what you deserve, and that you will not settle for the bare minimum.

I've been seeing this quote on twitter about intimacy, and how we mistake our need for touch as a need for sexual relations. I have realized that this ties into today's blog very well. We sometimes feel as if we only want relations with a person, and once they give us that intimacy that we desire, it creates feelings that become difficult to debunk. My take on this is to focus on yourself, and your feelings. The moment that you start to confuse the need for intimacy for sex, is when you lose your values within yourself. In order to take full control of your feelings is to know that the intimacy we crave comes with love, which lies in a relationship; well, true intimacy at that. Otherwise it's just sex, and that comes easy with just relations, which makes it hard to decipher. 

We as humans feel like we have to suppress the way we feel to avoid the judgment of others, and we also admire the way that others speak up for themselves. It's time we learn how to be the person that we respect, and admire. We have to stand up for ourselves, and believe that we deserve more than the tragedies that we put ourselves through. Always remember to take care of yourself, your mind, body, and spirit. We are on the path of becoming the BEST version of ourselves, and it starts with you.

Glow - Have you had one?

Has anyone ever used the term glowing to describe you, themselves, or someone around you? If so, you know that the word has a positive connotation. When someone says that you are glowing, it means that you are giving off a positive vibe, or better described as good energy. Having good energy causes individuals to be attracted to you. Not only physically, but emotionally, and mentally as well. Energy is transferable. You should always surround yourself with people who give off the same energy as you, if not better. 

In order to achieve the perfect "glow", you first have to focus on your image. Do you feel comfortable in your skin? It is important to accept yourself for who you are. Everyone is made different, but we are all equal. There is no need to compare yourself to others, or feel like you are in competition. Your biggest competitor is yourself. Once you learn that your flaws make your unique personality, it brings upon a sense of relief. You begin to feel secure in your confidence; proud to be who you are, and all that you are.

Opinions from others are not the valid source of conformation that you are going through positive changes, it is just a result. Once you start to feel better about yourself, people start to notice. That is when you will hear others tune in on your progress. The glow that you're having will catch their attention! Continue to take the time out of each day and focus on yourself. Focus on your internal needs and what your mind requires to be happy. 

Education - Important!

Now, you may be thinking, what in the world does education have to do with this affirmation stuff? I'm here to tell you! When beginning the process of building self-confidence, education is essential. Education is not limited to grade school, college, or academics. Being educated, in my words, is to acquire information about numerous topics. The power of knowing is a great asset when becoming the best version of yourself. 

Make sure that you have alone time to relax and clear your mind each day, and take the time to study on a new topic. Look into something that which you do not have any prior knowledge. Go look for the answers to those questions that you've had since you were a child. By educating yourself, you can assure that the information is correct. It may turn out to be something interesting, or something that you may want to know more about in the long run. While gaining knowledge on numerous subjects, you will come across people who are interested in similar things. Striving to learn more about the world will allow you to speak out on your opinions, as well as it can open doors for new opportunities and friendships.

When others see that you take the time out to educate yourself, or that you make an effort to go get educated, they tend to admire the drive. Has someone ever motivated you to work out, or start doing something that you usually wouldn't? If so, then you know how it feels to look up to someone; and soon people will be looking up to you. You may begin to notice that others appreciate the way you carry yourself; they will applaud you on your delicacy. Compliments come, and it helps in the process of raising your self-esteem, and becoming the best version of you. 

When you take the time to sit down and study a subject, not only is it relaxing, but it shows others that you care about your education. Being able to chime in on any conversation will demonstrate that you are confident and strong in your opinions. When you examine new topics, it attracts others who may be interested in what you are studying. So with that being said, don't ever hesitate to go the extra mile. Strive to be the BEST version of yourself in every aspect of life, starting with being informed on everything. Do your own research, and get the answers!

Affirmation - What in the world does it mean?

Affirm means to either state as a fact; assert strongly and publicly, or offer someone emotional support or encouragement. The reasoning for the title of this blog fits both definitions in my opinion. When I say Affirm To Love, I am saying to love out loud. Be unashamed and confident when it comes to loving yourself, as you may others. Give yourself that push to become the best version of you that there is possible. 

When I first learned what the word meant, along with the context in which it is used, I became very intrigued. I was introduced to a whole new realm of life that I had never experienced before. I started to watch youtube videos by this guy, his channel name is SpiritualSo. On that channel, I learned a new word that opened up many doors; doors that released bad energy, negative thoughts, mental health issues, and low vibrational beings. SpiritualSo talked about how self-affirmations, and guided meditations can help you become the best version of you. Now, when I first heard this, I'm thinking - what is this dude talking about? That's weird! Meditation is supposed to be all silence, right? I feel good about myself already, so this man has to be tripping! 

I began to view multiple posts by SpiritualSo, and a lot of them talked about self-affirmations.  After a few days, I searched 'guided meditation', and this affirmation word keeps catching my attention. It shortly became a norm, to listen to and/or say all of the positive things about myself. It's okay and perfectly normal to tell yourself, "You are amazing!" and it feels even better to say " I am amazing". My discovery of self affirmations changed my life for the better. I am steadily becoming my best self, one day at a time.❣